Finally! It has happened to me!

So! finally things have slowed down a bit! In EVERY way!

Mr. AK- came to this comedy show thing with me and some friends, took me to breakfast couple days later... then disappeared. The best part is.. I'm not distraught, upset, or sad about it. I figure its for the best. I dont feel like chasing him.. or anyone else for that matter. If he wants me he can put in some effort. I mean, I know I was the one who cut him off.. so thats why I contacted him again first.. but I think if he really wants me he would call or something so.. not to worried about it.

The HS Ex- Decided that its really just not there.. I mean I really wish it was b/c he is a great guy and I know he'd treat me wonderfully.. but I just can't do it.. be in a relationship with someone that I feel no spark with.. just can't make it happen.

Mr. Chef- another one that I wasn't really feeling it with.. things got really busy and hectic for a bit when i first started working at this restaurant... so I just slowly let things die down. Its for the best.. I just wasnt feelin it. I think he hit me up over the weekend on yahoo IM and was like "when are you coming back over?" um seriously? you think i'm going to drive 45 minutes to come see you again? HA

And that's it!!! I'm seriously seriously seriously out of fellows...and happy about it!! It took me a whole extra month to get rid of them all..but maybe now I can do me for a month FOR real! Get my business together and truly up and running! I want to get my business license by the end of September, liquor license by October, Insurance by November. I have my website up and running, now I need to advertise and get some clientele.

Sidenote- I'm rereading this book called "The Rules"..its about how to date to get a husband (LOL).. but it has some interesting pointers. I figured that once I start dating again, I'm gonna try them out. I mean what can it hurt? Obviously what Ive been doing for the past however many years isnt working.. or else I'd be boo'd the hell up right now right? yeah.. so I'll keep you posted on that. too

Where the hell am I?!

I know, I know, I've been really MIA... I do have some updatage for you.. but I'm exhausted.. I have started working at a bar in town and have not gotten home before 4 any night this week.

Mr. Chef has kind of died down.. well had pretty much.. i did go to a lounge with him and a couple of his friends last week.. it was fun, but i must face the fact that I'm just not that into him.. I can't force it.. shucks LOL

Started chillin with my ex from HS... he was really in love with me.. me, not so much but def care about him lots.. very mixed feelings about that situation right now... more details later.

Got free guest list for a comedy club in town and passed the mass text invite to Mr. AK.. I dont know I guess I kind of miss him.. but I dont really know in what way... we semi started a text convo but I have no service at work soo... perhaps we'll pick it back up tomorrow..

Randomly texted Texas...me: " Man, why couldnt you just act right" Him:"I did, you just kicked me to the curb." Me:" whatever, you know good and well you werent b/c if you were, I'd still be there... I just got tired of hoping.." Him: ....silence or the text never came through!!! LMAO!!!! Don't really know why I did that.. but whatever did it, he's still an idiot... and now I'm all together done.. No longer hoping he'll come around after getting the boot. :-( womp womp

Okay.. I need sleep I have a busy weekend.. will try to get more details for you on the next post. tata

Foolishness & Games

Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th, I had a pretty entertaining one. Initially made plans to do a drive in movie with friends... but didnt get enough response, and I didn't feel like spending $$ so.. that sort of fell through.. Mr. Chef calls and says he is going to cook something and kind of in a half ass way tells me i'm welcome.. umm thanks? lol.. He lives a solid 30 minutes away.. and spending the 4th boo'd up with someone I'm not even sure about, not my idea of a good time. I told him I'd let him know.. and started watching a movie. lol. Anywho, I ended up at a homegirl & her fiance's house.. and it actually turned out to be a good time.. we all got drunk, watched fireworks.. got inspired by the show, drove to Krogers (yes we know.. don't drink & drive, the sober one drove) bought fireworks and had our own show in the driveway cul-de-sac! HAHAH it really was a great time! I wish I could've gotten photos of our foolishness.. We almost set one girls car on fire!! (one dumb butt threw a sparkler inside the car while it was LIT!) So needless to say.. my 4th was quite the good time.

So.. last night (saturday) Mr. Chef mentions that he wants to go out to a lounge for some party.. and i guess you could say invites me... lol okay no he def asked me to go with him.. told him i'd have to see b/c I was supposed to be doing some pre-bridal shower festivities with my cousin. She says its looking like a no.. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go out so I wait an hour or so to get back to Chef.. then all of a sudden he doesn't want to go anymore. I tell him he's wack, he apologizes profusely and then throws this lil bit in the text: I really like you and I am soo soo sorry.. ummmmmmmm I reply back: lol. HAHAHAH I mean what am I supposed to say to that anyway? Then he hits me up on yahoo IM .. so we chat for about an hour.. he kindof irked me a bit b/c he pulled this arrogant i know more about something than you do attitude on me.. major turn off.. so i just kept chumping him and letting him know how unimpressed I was.. then he all of a sudden got nervous and apologized and stopped! HA! I shouldn't be so tickled by the whole thing but.. I don't know, that is a huge pet peeve of mine. So then, he invites me to come to his house to drink.. Here's my thing.. granted I don't really invite anyone over to my house b/c I live with family (womp womp).. so I appreciate him trying to see me by inviting me over but who the hell wants to leave their own house to go sit in someone elses? Seriously? If he's really trying to... i don't know court me or what have you, does he really think sitting at his house and drinking.. is my idea of a good time, everytime? Am I being difficult? Reluctant Dreamer commented that I'm playing hard to get.. I don't think that's the case but.. I may be biased. lol. Either way, this month is supposed to be about me so .. its kind of like, I'm not trying to even let him get that attached to me.. kind of why I was so confused when he tells me how much he likes me.. How did that happen? I'm at a loss.. and he's a pretty nice guy too.. geez.. this is why I just want to take my month off.. I can't be bothered playing the dating game right now..

Side note: Thanks to all of my new visitors/readers... I hope you continue to check back.. I'm building my "blog list" and network.. so leave a comment or something. Let me know u were here!

Happy Independence Day to you... Happy Independence Month to me?

So.. I'm officially 3 days into my month of "solitude," independence, true singleness, WHATEVER! lol and boy, boy, boy, it has been quite a 3 days.. lol.. Last I wrote, the emails had been sent out to Mr. Texas & Mr. Arkansas... that day Mr. AK called.. I got nervous & just watched the phone ring.. wimp, yes I know.. My BFF convinced me to call him back- went straight to voicemail (Mr. AK, it's me, calling you back) few hours later I'm at Mr. Chef's house and AK calls back... obviously impolite to take that call so once again I watch it ring... left Chef's around midnight, return the call- no answer, no surprise, it was late. Didn't leave a message so I called back the next afternoon to no answer again. Voicemail thing messed up and I couldn't bear to call 3 times so... I let it go. No sign of AK since. I'll admit, I was kind of surprised... but then on the second thought I wasn't. He's a bit sensitive and a bit selfish... guys like him don't take dismissal very easily..despite the fact that I even gave him a little-Its not you its me.. telling him I just need to focus on me for a while... Anywho... Monday night Texas calls!!!! He'd already been deleted from the phone so I had to do a triple take when I saw the number pop up. Get this- somehow he makes it about him- Why don't you call me anymore? Is your phone broken? I know I havent been the best @ communication but why do u have to abuse me? Are we not friends? UMMMMMM I'm SORRY WHAT THE FLIP?!?! I was at such a loss for words that I started a conversation with someone else in the room just to make him get off the phone. He was supposed to call me back in an hour... its now been about 72 or so lol. Now that was a call that shocked me in general. I was expecting to hear from him in about a month or 2 months time... 1 week!!! I know he got the email but he didn't even mention it!! I think he thought he would just smooth things over like the last time... no sirreee! The most he got was another weeks worth of brain space in my head.. because I'm woman enough to admit that I have thought about that call at least once a day since then... not to mention the fiasco that was last weekend with him.. sooo he bought himself another week.

So July is here now... the 2 major players in my life are gone (for now- crossing fingers).. but I didn't realize that it wasn't the major players that were gonna be difficult to get rid of.. its the minor league & practice squad that are posing the biggest challenges... How do you completely cut someone off that a.) you havent really been emotionally or sexually involved with in so long... b.) have really developed a pseudo-friendship with despite the sexual/emotional past or c.) is so on again off again that... cutting them off any other way than just in your mind would make the relationship more real than it has ever been?! lol.. I'm hoping I can come up with a satisfactory answer by the 15th of July... lol In the meantime... I have to just continue to keep my distance and limit or eliminate any "boo" talk, feelings or displays of affection (from guys), dates, and meeting new fellas...

Update about Mr. Chef.. but that will have to come later, I am sleepy as all get out!