Let the (Elimination) Games Begin!!

Today,
I have officially eliminated 2 guys from my squad (as I like to affectionately refer to it lol). Ok so let me back up just a smidgen...

Last week I started feeling this need for some real me time... clean slate... no men.. just ME!! I realized that I'm not at a place in my life where I am happy. I was feeling a little rut-like.. a little stuck, a little mouse in a maze that he can't get out of... I realized I need to make some changes and eliminations in regards to people and situations. One of the first things that came to my mind was men... its funny because I finally for the past few months have been ready to be in a relationship and dating with that intention.. anywho, so I came to conclusion that for 1 month I need to be completely man-less.. no boo's, no late night chill sessions, no kisses, no sexin, no nothing. On top of that, I need to completely let go of the current men in my life b/c after 3-5 months none of them have made any serious moves to lock it down... and I'm tired of wasting time. Its time to just do me. I realized that since I've started dating boys.. (in HS) I have never been completely devoid of men. There was always at least one residual, or one new, or one on again off again. With all that going on.. when have I had time to really just focus on me?! Never. Therefore... I have decided to let all of the old go. Numbers are getting deleted, emails have already begun to get sent out, some txt msgs may go out, calls are going to be left unanswered... Its time to move forward.

So.. this morning 2 emails went out.. one to Mr. Texas officially letting him know "Yes, I'm done.. just so you don't have to ask me in a month." (i literally said that). Another one was sent to Mr. AK (yeah he was another one... he was better than Texas, but still had to go). I was going to atleast tell AK on the phone, but he seems to be having trouble returning phone calls again.. (he goes through that phase once every couple weeks.. it gets very old). Thus, he too received an email.

The hardest part of this is going to be eliminating those guys who I have a legitimate friendship with.. on top of whatever romantic/sexual history we have... I am like horrible at breakups of any kind... I could barely quit my job when I did... maybe i'll send a mass email... lol. IDK.. but I have to make some stuff happen by July 1... because for the month of July... I'm focusing on me... I don't know what that means for Mr. Chef either..

Disappointments & A Clean Slate

So.. yes, I know it has been quite some time since my last post. Interesting things have gone down. However, the thing foremost on my mind is my great disappointment in Mr. Texas. Okay, so you dont know who that is.. here's a little backstory:

We met at my old job. He was consulting there.. and it was really and truly one of those corny instant chemistry type situations. we got along great.. had great convos the whole nine. only dilemma was that he lives in Texas... hence the name. So most of the "relationship" was via phone b/c he came up in March and this weekend was his first weekend back since then. About the middle of May I decided to just let things go b/c I felt as though things had gotten to the point where I was making WAY too much of an effort to keep things up. I expressed my sentiments to him and he pretty much tried to flip the situation around.. I left the conversation feeling rather chumped off. And we actually never even finished the conversation b/c he didnt call me back... talk about your ass hole. so yes that is when things came to a halt. Fast forward 2 weeks and I get a text msg asking me if I still like him... I laughed and responded that he's still on the list.. but not very high up. he responds with an i'm at the airport call you when i land... right that must have been the longest flight on earth because he calls 3 days later, for 2 minutes. fast forward 2 more weeks... text message: Are you done with me? I want to see you next week, is that ok? I respond: that's fine, just call me. 2 days later I get: I can't wait to see you!... I'm baffled at this point b/c we have had practically no communication in about a month.. so I say to him: confused about why u want to see me, you dont even talk to me anymore... he replies: things have been crazy, lets do lunch and just talk.

Okay, so now that you're up to speed:

Fast forward to Saturday.. Phone call (SHOCKER!!): Are you in Atlanta? I'm on my way there and I want to see you sometime... Me: Ok, just call me. Have a safe flight.... Saturday night- I meet up with him to give something to him and we make plans for Sunday afternoon after church. Sunday I call him after church: Oh sorry babe we're gonna have to push back b/c i'm bout to eat with my boys... Me: wasnt it nice of you to make that decision on your own.. Him: Couldnt call you were in church Me: thats crap whatever. ... Fastforward 1 hr later, Me: You need to just decide that this is important and make the time to see me... Him: ok babe your right... Me: you have 30 minutes to figure it out.. (LOL I was frustrated at this point b/c he's fuckin up my schedule.. typically I dont do ultimatums)... 1 hour later... still nothing... 3 hours later... Him: Babe I know I suck, lets hang tomorrow... WTF?! he's gotta be kidding me! Turns out he was highly inebriated... not a good excuse for the blow off but... whatever. Today: HE makes plans for this evening.. Dinner and maybe the Braves game... so why is it 6:21 and I'm sitting here blogging instead of eating, driving, or cheering??? I'm at such a loss right now. I had already decided that after this week, I was going to end things with him.. but I was going to at least give him the opportunity to explain his piss poor behavior in the past... This is a damn shame.. Grown ass man (28yrs old) with his own business and a son, over here actin like hes still an undergrad football player! Plain old disappointment. Ugh..

Over the past week I have been thinking about letting all the guys in my life go right now... He's just making this that much easier to do. I really would like to just start over fresh with a clean slate. No residual past feelings to mess up anything new. Ideally, I want to just take a month for myself... just focus on me and the business I'm starting (another day's blog)... But there is a new guy.. we'll call him Mr. Chef... he wants to hang out tomorrow.. Maybe he can be a part of the clean slate?? Thoughts? Comments on Mr. Texas? Insight to share??

Mayhem & Holy Chickens!!

Holy chicken... I have been w/o internet for like the past 20 hours... um brutal. I felt so hindered... I never realize how much I depend on the internet until I don't have it. Case in Point.. I needed to look up consignment shops in the area (i am trying to sell some of my old clothes to raise $$$ - [the life of the jobless LOL])... I ended up completely not getting stuff done today b/c of my lack of internet connection, so yeah no clothes were sold today... womp womp.

Example 2... My homegirl is having a birthday celebration this weekend (further description to come in a bit) and ofcourse she sent an evite... so there were some changes made to the invitation/party plans and I needed to know... was straight S.O.L. alll flippin day.. lol

So anyways. about this party... this party is called a Night of Mayhem.. and I'm afraid that it may turn into some sort of mini orgy or something....its a very exclusive invite list (as so clearly emphasized on the evite) and there will be drinking, strip clubbing, drinking, a swimming pool and a hotel suite... holy chicken. Now I'm no susy square or anything.. but I'm also no... freaky mc freakette... so needless to say I'm at a loss. I have asked around and it sounds like this is supposed to be like a "hook up" party... but i dont know.. b/c if that is what its supposed to be then I would prefer to bring the guy that I'm kind of dating... yeah we'll get to him one day... but if the party turns into some sort of freakyfest... I don't want him to think that is what I call a good time. Shit, i'm just really into birthdays & drinking (PICSES!!!)... thats why I'm even going.. Anywho... my lack of internet is really getting to me so I need to go do some other web browsing just incase I lose it again tonight... Wish me luck on this weekend...

Tata :-)

Who I'm is... an introduction to say the least

Okay, so in an effort to preserve my anonymity... I don't know how revealing this intro is going to be, so I guess you can say we are playing it by ear...

• I'm 22.


• I'm female.


• I went to college.


• I'm originally from the North...


• I'm a PICSES through and through!! (i will dedicate one whole post to this one day)


• I have 3 younger siblings (1 sister, 1 half brother, 1 step brother)


• I can be long winded at times... and other times so straight to point I hurt my own feelings


• I am currently job LESS- but with VERY good reason (again... another separate post)


• I am...kindof single...so that should lead to at least a few entertainingly dramatic posts


• I love to make up words... lol


• I hate drama, but some how often end up in the midst of something...

I am tryin to get my life together....

Any questions? Great this should be fun...ttyl.

Starter Post...

So, I have thought about starting a blog for... quite quite quite some time but always ran into a few thoughts that would stop me: a.) privacy (i only like for certain people to be in my business...lol) b.)content (am I really interesting enough for other people to read about?) c.) okay... there's no c, those were my only thoughts. lol.. oh ok here's c.)grammar ( sometimes (all the times) I don't write the in the most grammatically correct way).

It is for those reasons why this will be an anonymous blog. I probably won't share this address with any of my friends or acquaintences (save for my bestfriend.. she passes no judgement EVER).

So, to those of you who happen to run across this blog and decide to continue checking me out... first let me say Thanks =)... second... Enjoy... I am not the most interesting person out there, but I also know I am not the most boring... my life has a little spice to it! Feel free to comment..